James Moffitt (00:02.094)
Hello and welcome to Father's Refuge podcast. My name is James Moffat and I will be your host. This is episode seven. And in episode seven, I'm going to share with you a celebration of life for my 38 year old son, Jeremy Moffat, who passed away in the end of January of this year, 2025. was 38 years old. So here's my story.
James Moffitt (00:31.084)
In December of 2024, my wife Katie received word that one of Jeremy's friends told her that Jeremy was in the hospital in Michigan. The friend did not want to reach out to me directly because they had a preconceived notion that I am a monster. I wound up connecting with Jeremy's stepdad, Mark, who was in the loop about the situation. I made a phone call and was told that Jeremy was in the ICU at Sparrow Hospital in Lansing, Michigan. I was told that Jeremy was at home and not feeling well.
He was having a respiratory distress and was coughing up phlegm. Jeremy's roommates called 911 and a local ambulance showed up and checked Jeremy's vitals and told him he just had a common cold.
James Moffitt (01:15.32)
Fast forward several hours later, and Jeremy was feeling worse, so they called 911 again. This time, the EMS crew loaded Jeremy up and took him to a local hospital. Jeremy was diagnosed with RSV of the lungs. Jeremy was admitted to the ICU and a breathing tube was implemented to help him breathe.
James Moffitt (01:41.75)
Jeremy and I were not close. I moved from Houston, Texas to Atlanta, Georgia to work at Delta Airlines when Jeremy was quite young. In hindsight, my doing this put a gulf between Jeremy and I and we drifted apart. Jeremy had announced to his mother at some point that he was gay. According to one of Jeremy's closest friends, mother, he identified as non-binary. I spoke to Jeremy on the phone at one point and we discussed his gay lifestyle.
I admitted to him that I did not understand it, but that I loved him. I told him that I would not stand in judgment over his life choices.
I wanted Jeremy to be happy, healthy, and enjoy life in whatever way he wanted to. Jeremy was in the ICU at Sparrow Hospital for five weeks. That was the last week of December, 2024, and all of January, 2025. I had hoped that Jeremy would survive his stay in the ICU and would go for a short-term rehab, go to a short-term rehab floor at the hospital, and then long-term rehab out in the community.
At that point I was going to make a trip one weekend to try and reconnect. Despite all of the medical treatments, Jeremy suffered a medical emergency in the ICU and the doctors were not able to revive him. My hopes at reconnecting with Jeremy ended suddenly. Jeremy was 38 years old at the time of passing. He was survived by his close friends, myself and my wife and his stepdad who lived in Connecticut at the time. Jeremy Moffitt was my first child from my first marriage.
I had court ordered visitation with Jeremy while I was still living in Houston, Texas. I remember one day I had ridden the bus line to go pick Jeremy up from his grandmother's home. As we were walking in the rain from the bus stop to where I was living, I heard Jeremy say, this is entirely too much walking, Dad. I looked back at him and kind of laughed and I said, what are you talking about? He said, this is entirely too much walking. Jeremy was instrumental in Katie, my current wife, and I getting together and getting married 35 years ago.
James Moffitt (03:50.169)
Katie and I met at the MASH party for the singles at the Christian Life Center at First Baptist Church in Houston, Texas. I was playing volleyball with some of the other singles and I had Jeremy with me. I think he was three or four years old. Katie asked me if she could watch him while I played volleyball and I said, sure. Katie has always loved Jeremy as he was one of her own children. Neither one of us was happy about the fact that we were not close.
Jeremy was an artist and he loved to draw computer graphics. When Jessica passed away in 2001, I registered an internet domain called LightOurWorld.com. Katie and I had a blog where we wrote about Jessica. Jeremy created a graphic for that website that had the words, Light Our World, and had a lighthouse showing a bright light into our world. The circle of life for Jeremy is now complete. He is the second child of four that has passed on before us. He will be sorely missed.
James Moffitt (04:52.844)
Now what I want to say is, is that if you have an adult child and you are estranged from them for whatever reason, take the high road and do whatever you need in order to redeem that relationship. None of us last forever. You know, the Bible says that our lives are like a vapor. One minute we're here and the next minute we're not. Well, I'm living
A living testimony to the fact that, yes, your children can pass on before you. We have lost two children and no, no, no parent wants to live through that. That's, that's not the normal routine. That's not the normal, order of events. You're not supposed to be burying your children. So if you have an adult child that you are not close to, no matter what their age.
Do what you can to bury the hatchet, forgive them of their trespasses, whatever that might be, own up to your mistakes, ask for forgiveness, ask your child to forgive you. Talk it out, talk it through, give them opportunities to be approachable. You be approachable.
So yeah, we don't want regrets, right? As parents, we don't want to lose our child and have a regret that we didn't go the extra mile to do what we could to make the relationship right. And that goes for the rest of your relatives as far as that goes. Life is too short. Let's just all get along and be happy, right? As much as possible. All right. God bless you. Thank you for listening and have a wonderful day. Bye bye.
